Have you ever...

I have not blogged lately- I am so very sorry to those of you who follow me! I have just been very busy lately and have not had much time. However, I am now realizing that without seeing my words, I tend to keep them inside: This gets me in trouble.
Over the last couple of months, I have realized that there is so many words inside... so many things I have left unsaid. Remember I told you from the beginning, I do not edit my writings. I just go... Ready- set- go.
Have you EVER looked at your life and thought: HOW did I get here?
Have you EVER looked around you and thought: WHAT was I thinking?

I do not live my life with regrets. Everything I have done, said, heard, or seen has given me the things I have and taken me the places I have been. Therefore, regret is not in my arsenal of emotions. However, I have wondered to myself about some of my life decisions. For example, I love my husband! I love him dearly. However, I wonder sometimes if life would be different had we chosen to "wait" on marriage. Would he be in the military? Would we be where we are and have the friends that we now have? I think not... I LOVE the friends we have made! I mean... seriously LOVE the people that are in my life. Life would have been easier I am sure... but I do not think life would have been better.
Would life have been different had I not had kids? Oh gosh yes! I tell this to my friends all of the time! I constantly get the "Oh I am so sorry you had a baby at 16"! What!? Are you kidding me? You MUST be joking right? Kaydance was the ONE thing in my life that I KNOW I did NOT mess up on! The one decision in my life that I can GUARANTEE HAS been and WILL CONTINUE to be a success. That girl is just like me: Resilient, intelligent, determined, and passionate! Watch out people- she is going to be president someday!
My other two kids came with my marriage. Therefore, if I said my marriage is not a regret, obviously I mean my children as well. Yet I can't help but wonder about where I would be without kids.
I was SUCH a selfish little brat growing up. I mean... downright selfish and RUDE. I look back on some of the things I did to people and almost cringe at the very thought. I always say I BROKE the stereotypes. I was an honor student, but a captain cheerleader. I was a dancer, yet could turn a wrench. I was a band geek, but class president. I was in drama and musicals, but still managed to get voted "most popular" in the yearbook. I broke every stereotype that society has put in high school vernacular. That is a lie! I WAS a walking stereotype:

I was the captain cheerleader... AND I was a backstabbing wench!
I could turn a wrench and was a tomboy... and I rarely wore dresses.
I was in drama and musicals... and I wore my emotions on my sleeve.
I was a band geek (and still am)... and I still turn to writing lyrics as my out.
All in all... I WAS voted most popular... and I was a TEEN MOM.

Have you ever reflected on who you WERE and compared that person to who you ARE?
Have you ever almost cried over the things you wish you could have done different if you KNEW you were going to be where you are today?

The things I could have learned and experienced if I chose differently growing up! I would have experienced my SENIOR PROM! I would have served my country and traveled all over the world. I would have been completely focused on raising myself and building myself up instead of raising three children and building them up. I would have had friends all over the place and countless people I could turn to instead of just a handful. I would have had the company of many men without any need instead of being completely devoted to my husband and needing him.

I know that sounds great right!? It really does. I mean... who wouldn't WANT that life! That life is the dream life... the easy life.

My mom always tells me I choose to do things the "hard way". I have to learn from my own experience and learn to apply them in my own way. Yes... my momma knows me all to well.

Would I choose to live my life differently? Probably. This life I live is hard... it is down right insane at times and frustrating at others.

Would I be as strong as I am today? No. Without this "hard life" and lessons learned I would not be who I am today. I was not BORN intelligent. Education and learning does not come naturally to me. In fact... NOTHING comes natural to me. I have to WORK at everything I do because I never really CHOSE to pursue anything in particular. I now have to WORK at being a wife... WORK at being a mother... WORK at my academics... I have to WORK at being healthy and athletic... and WORK at being a positive asset to the world in which I live.

The question I ask you to ask yourself is: Have you ever examined YOUR work ethic?

Odd question right? But it is true. Work ethic defines who we are, what we want, and where we want to be.

Those who choose to be lazy probably live a life of contentment. Those who choose to constantly run around and be on the go probably live a life of ambition. There is such thing as being an extremist... and America is FULL of them. You rarely hear of the in between because America CHOOSES to live one way or the other. They forget that there is such thing as relaxation and enjoyment without self indulging acts of grotesque behavior. There is such thing as experiencing the world without exposing yourself or your family to a chaotic life filled with instability.

I challenge you to EXAMINE your life... reflect on where you were, who you were, and what you wanted. Do not forget about your past... instead accept and embrace it. Analyze where you are, who you are, and what you want. Take the time to really focus on your inner self. Organize where you want to be, who you want to be, and what you think you may want. Never lose sight of your dreams and ambitions.

Have you ever let someone tell you "no"?
Have you ever given up?
Have you ever let fear and the unknown stop you from GOING FOR IT?

I have... but I tell you what... I refuse to do that any more! Bring it on 2011!! Bring it on!